Struggles & fears.

As I type in words to this blog post,  droplets fall, and I draw near insanity.

I've been quite an expert in keeping all things locked up, sealed to perfection with a poker face to top it all up.

I am strong, I always tell myself that.
I am NOT weak.
I am good, I am better that good, supernatural things are upon me.

I am filled with optimism, with delight, with joy.
But as everyday goes, my spirit slowly crumbles...
And I am left hopeless & weary.

I am fighting through the uncertainty,
I am conquering all odds,
At least I am trying my very best.

But there's always that tiny "but" amidst all crisis.

Nothing seems to go well,
And I am left with nothing but queries.

"Bakit ganun? Bakit ganto?"

"Weren't I a good student?"

I'm doing my best, but still, it's all wrong.

I am struggling, fighting with all my heart

To reach my most awaited victory.

A victory, I presume will be worth it.

I fear that all this is but a sign,
to whether give up or choose another.
BUT NO, I know I CAN.

I just have to keep on believing
Trying, and learning.
So that maybe, just maybe...

One day I'll be triumphant.

--dee. 
7.12.12. 7.01