Restless and weary

Staring at the ceiling making, friends with shadows...

Here I am again, the great procrastinator of all time, with her laptop open, and some thoughts to ponder on.

Within me is a confused being,

perhaps I don't have problems, as big as others have,

but still, these are problems, that I shall have to face, now, or never.

My brother told me, that we, teenagers, have lots and lots of problems to think about, but we never really realize that it's they, in their 20's that got those serious life problems that are more drastic. Come to think of it, they do.

When I was in HS, and even when i was a mere child in my elementary years, i would often stare into paranoia, thinking about the things in life that bothers me, but right now, thinking about those silly itsy bitsy problems I've had, I realized, those were tiny, compared to what I'm having now.

Often when I have problems, I would tell myself, "I can do this!"

Thinking that in the future, I'll tell myself that I've finally conquered and reigned over all the trials I've had in life.

Here I am again, facing a crossroad.

Its time again for me to choose,

what's right,

and what should be done.

I can't tell you right now what that is,

but I'm hoping, that deep inside my heart,

mind,

and soul,

is an answer, that's slowly whispering...

I'm hoping for an answer,

I am dying to know,

I just don't when I'll get the right one.

I don't know if it has been long said to me,

but maybe, just maybe, as I step out in my everyday,

I'll be closer to that answer.

My brother told me that when you reach 20, its that time of decision making, its that time when you'll choose who you'll be, and what you will become.

I wonder what may happen if i would have to choose at this moment, at this point in time...

Cause I'm thinking it's what's happening now.

I'm perplexed, and also in solace at the moment.

I've got thoughts lingering in the corners of my mind,

I'm a fugitive, and I refuse to go out and come clean.

I reckon yesterday was nothing but fun and laughter,

I wonder how it came to be such dreary and painful world.

Nostalgic.

All I can do is remember,

those smiles I've had,

those moments of frolic,

and that lovely awakening...

I'll just choose to be here for now, hoping that one day, I'll get an answer,

and that one day, everything, will be back, as it should be.

END.

crazy, goofy. wacko. jumbo mumbo words.

deeeeeee.