Wasting Youth~

And just so suddenly I decided to close my eyes that share a window to the world I found myself deep into the ocean Staring blankly into my own reflection A person I have always come to know But she seems different from when I last saw her She’s looks much wiser but looking deeper into her eyes You can see desperation and frustration Of untangled dreams that seem far to reach Looking into her I realize she’s slowly growing old Never yet realizing her dreams and goals Her mind is focused on but one undertaking A venture that has enslaved her for years Step, step, barefoot on the beach, She would always dream about a sunny day Where she’d get sunkissed while listening to music On a fairly nice holiday away from the city buzz Ring, ring, its 1 o’clock She would always dream to wake up in the afternoon Even just for once in her life To know that she’s at least a human and deserves a bit more rest Swish, swish, she pulls her suitcase She would always dream to fly from one country or place to another Even just to savor the moment And pretend that all the world’s but a destination she can easily reach Brrr, brrr, she awakens from her realization That all these are just dreams And here she is, wasting away her youth In four cornered walls, her life slips away~ 101018 Church. 9:06pm

not living, rather just breathing.

Its like im a tight rope that people keep clinging on to Its sophocating I cant even phatom how i’ve been surviving for years and years Its draining, exhausting, but I’ve been bearing it Someone once told me, Aint it nice that people actually need you? But still, he told me that’s not it. You have to live your own life Not living the life others want you to Not living a life where others needs is first Not living a life where losing you is a waterloo Not living.. its simply not living, but rather compromising I’ve been meaning to look for the nearest exit But the tunnel just keeps on going on and on Its slowly weakening me to the core Tried to shout and cry in despair but to no avail I just wish someday things will be different I just wish someday i’ll find my own freedom A life I wish to live A life not caged by this four cornered walls To smell the flowers at daytime To breathe in the fresh air on a weekday To see how lovely the sunset is in summer And to experience life as told by many youngsters 💕 100118 Morning thoughts.

Para kay Kiko.

If only you knew how the world would be without you, If only you knew how those spaces in her hands would feel so empty If only you knew how big a void it would be to not have you here Maybe you'd stay Maybe you'll realize how big of a blessing you are Maybe you'll see how big of an impact you've made Perhaps it was too late Perhaps there were words never said Perhap it was meant to be left untold But we'll always wish for a comeback That one day you'll sing phrases And make new melodies and memories That one day you'll continue to strum and play Flash that big grin of yours And post witty stat ups on facebook Your life has touched many Though short you have lived well It may be the end of life But never the end for memories Forever entangled in our hearts Engraved with precious emotions Thank you for sharing your life Your songs, your frustrations and your joy The lyrics and melody will forever stay We wish you more love and happiness Our paths may no longer diverge in this lifetime But kudos kiko, you did well in this lifetime. - Dee 1.12pm 041318

alas onse ng gabi

alas onse ng gabi, nagbukas ng blog
h biglang pumasok sa utak mga salita
mga talata, mga ideya, mga parirala.

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
pilit iniisip ano marahil ang araw kung nariyan ka.
kung sa pagising may pag asang masulyapan ka.

alas onse ng gabi, patuloy na nagrerefresh ng inbox.
nagbabaka sakali baka may bagong mensahe.
mensaheng makakapagpatulog sa isip na ayaw magpahinga.

alas onse ng gabi, tila nangungulila.
sa isang ngiti, sa isang larawan.
sa isang tunog ng cellphone, sa isang boses na tila ketagal ng di narinig.

alas onse ng gabi, nagtatanong.
nagaalala, nagtataka.
ano na mga ba ang meron?

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
at patuloy akong magsusulat
nagbabakasakali na sa isang segundo, nariyan na.

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
kumusta kaya ang araw mo?
kumusta kaya ang trabaho mo?

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
alam kong namimiss mo rin ako
kunwari ka pa.

alas onse ng gabi, at malapit na mag 12.
pero lilipas na naman ang araw at hindi kita kausap.
baka sakali bukas pagising, may green na tuldok.

alas onse ng gabi, magpapalit araw na.
pinapanalangin pagising ko, may good morning na.
o kahit siguro good night.

alas onse ng gabi, dumating na si pinsan.
hahawiin ang nangingilid na luha.
at tatapusin ang tula.



04.03.18
11:32pm

live and love

And just like a flicker,
We're one day gone in this world.
Passing like folly
Never realizing we slowly drift away

Appreciate what's infront of you
Never let go of a moment
Seize the day
Embrace change

Treasure the memories
Live for the day
Live and love
Laugh often, cry a little

We never know when one's time is up
So live and love
Never forget to stop and enjoy the view
Just live and breathe

Life's meant to be lived not to be caged
Let go of the chains and the burdens
Seize the day,
Live and love till the end of time.

gold tears

solid gold tears,

if I were to say.

i love you.

though you'd always feel lacking

solid gold tears.

and so it freely falls

i love you.

and it gives me shivers how my eyes are so full with tears

solid gold tears

waiting to just freely unleash its power

i love you.

much more frequent than how the sun rises or the moon shines

solid gold tears

they slowly fall as I long for one sweet grace

i love you.

you creature you, i have loved you more than i myself could allow

solid gold tears

as I begin to ponder on memories

dont quit, dont give up.

you told me! you told me to never give up!

solid gold tears

as I slowly hold them back

you told me to hold on and we can make it. i've been holding on. but what's the commotion

solid gold tears.

just let it rot in my system.

i reckon i wont bear it if this tears linger for a while more.

 i love you.

can you hear me?

071517

8:39pm

tic tac

Tic tac,
Its like your life passes by
Before your very eyes

Tic tac,
Its like time running out
As you stay in one corner

Tic tac,
Its like having the world count on you
Tic tac,
But never really having anyone to count on

Tic tac,
Its like digesting everyone's meal
Tic tac,
And expecting to take it all out as well

Tic tac,
Its like things wont run smoothly
Tic tac,
Without you. Without you.

Tic tac,
Its as if everyone's lives depended on you
Tic tac,
Its like putting the world on your shoulders

Tic tac,
Its like finding someone
Tic tac,
To finally lay the burden on

Tic tac,
Its hoping this wont take a while anymore
Tic tac,
Its what keeps me going

Tic tac,
To know that time runs fast
Tic tac,
However slow it feels like

Tic tac,
I'll let the hands move
Tic tac,
Just as it slowly diverts attention

Tic tac,
Not on me
Tic tac,
But on to another

Tic tac,
And so the clock moves
Tic tac,
And though youth passes by

Another youth becomes adult.
To pass on a lifetime of work.
To pass on all that's giving bondage
To finally live a life

Free of worries
Free of deadlines
Free of responsibilities
Of others.


10:30AM
122116

Hope

Tarry a little while
These four cornered walls
They seem to sophocate
Slowly, its like an echoing silence

Drowning you into an infinite mess
Of chaos and distraction
You keep your eye on the price
And your head focused

But it lingers
Grasping your skin till it hurts
Till it hurts,
And till you wake

This is not a dream
And that's when it sinks in deep
This is not a dream
Its reality waiting to uncover

This is not a dream
And I wish it was
This is not a dream
How can this be real?

This is not a dream
How I wish fairytales were real
This is not a dream
But I still strongly hope

That one day soon
I'll wake up
Tears turn to dust
Clinging on to hope

That one day, the present would only be just a dream.


 9:58AM
122116

broken strings

And you keep playing music, chilling Disregarding life and all its chaos Keep strumming, humming that tune You kept singing that verse you dont even know is right Play it continously Go on, go on. Till we finally realize Everything has its own depreciation level. And slowly, Slowly The strings get broken Like a ticking time bomb As it gets used. It draws near the deadline. Getting through smoothly... Or finally saying goodbye. These broken strings, Its tired. Tired as heck, They're praying to get changed. Or at least get some new friends. Its shouting a big SOS. Help. These broken strings... Saying goodbye... Just a little sooner and ever.. 1.49AM 113016

Until when?

Smiles. Greatest weapon. Greatest self destruct grievance. Best way to say you're fine and happy When in fact you're near the verge of slowly giving up. If any person would ever be in my place? I'd say they would have given up. Long time ago. But to say this, Its like boasting. Many have long stayed. How long should I stay? How long can I stay? How long will I bear. How long will I try. How long will I crawl. How long will I pretend. Lord.. give me a reason to stay. give me a helping hand to believe things are possible. Lord, strengthen me more each day. Help me believe that anything is possible. Oh Lord... to feel free. Is the most valuable treasure. To savor the wind in my hair To feel the sand in the seas.. Oh Lord, just one break. Just one quick one. I dont wanna be drowned in this misery. Its slowly swallowing me whole. Its eating me like a kid eats cake. Slowly, savoring me, piece by piece And it aches, it aches a little A little then a lot. Then it hastens, but then it lingers. Going steady then fast. Oh dear, save me Its deep within me.. Until when will this end. Until when. Until when. Until when... 113016 1:31AM :/