alas onse ng gabi

alas onse ng gabi, nagbukas ng blog
h biglang pumasok sa utak mga salita
mga talata, mga ideya, mga parirala.

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
pilit iniisip ano marahil ang araw kung nariyan ka.
kung sa pagising may pag asang masulyapan ka.

alas onse ng gabi, patuloy na nagrerefresh ng inbox.
nagbabaka sakali baka may bagong mensahe.
mensaheng makakapagpatulog sa isip na ayaw magpahinga.

alas onse ng gabi, tila nangungulila.
sa isang ngiti, sa isang larawan.
sa isang tunog ng cellphone, sa isang boses na tila ketagal ng di narinig.

alas onse ng gabi, nagtatanong.
nagaalala, nagtataka.
ano na mga ba ang meron?

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
at patuloy akong magsusulat
nagbabakasakali na sa isang segundo, nariyan na.

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
kumusta kaya ang araw mo?
kumusta kaya ang trabaho mo?

alas onse ng gabi, namimiss kita.
alam kong namimiss mo rin ako
kunwari ka pa.

alas onse ng gabi, at malapit na mag 12.
pero lilipas na naman ang araw at hindi kita kausap.
baka sakali bukas pagising, may green na tuldok.

alas onse ng gabi, magpapalit araw na.
pinapanalangin pagising ko, may good morning na.
o kahit siguro good night.

alas onse ng gabi, dumating na si pinsan.
hahawiin ang nangingilid na luha.
at tatapusin ang tula.



04.03.18
11:32pm

Young and Naive~

In flashbacks and glances
In sickness or in silence
In a mere blink of an eye
You've gotten me high

Through thick and thin
In hiding and lying.
In foolish escapes
Of smiles and waves

It was young and naive~
crazed and unimagined,
it was totally wrecking yet worth it,
that no one else may seem to beat.

It was uncalled for
And everyone seemed to want more.
It was fast paced and untangible
It was intoxicating and worth the fall~

It was all fake and never real.

It was child's play up the hill, 

To a neverland of no beginnings,

senseless with no happy endings.

It was never felt

Nor did I ever dealt

It was a game

And I felt lame

It was never decent

And you're left bent

Entangled by the past

With memories that seemed to last

Trapped in a sea of nothingness
In a space full of emptiness
In a world of empty solace
Of the grief and cunning faces

And would I ever forbid
To long just to bid
A good bye to what has been
And hello to what may beam.


So alas.... idk what. But.



1.09am.11.25.13

R.I.P First Ones~

So this is a post about me ranting how i deleted something i wrote with all conviction and might, not to mention my eyes that were a bit puffy and watery whilst I was typing words.

Idk. No matter how hard I try to delve deeper I can no longer find the right words to render what I've deleted "alive".

It is dead. And its rather wrong to try to revive something that's of the past.

Maybe that's what  it's all about really.

To forget the past,
let go of all that's holding you back,
forgive and live,
then take a step and move forward.

It's time to let go of what's not to be.
It's time to bid farewell of the land of what if's
Time to permit one's self to live for the future
To "what could be's"and realize what's in store.

The past is always a great place to come back to,
never to dwell in nor be imprisoned in.
Its this sacred sanctuary of holding thoughts so dear,
but never jailed by the emotions that settled in.

Its always great to live passed one moment in life.
To know you have surpassed something so enduring.
Its great to look back and laugh at such memories.
But then again, 1,2,3 seconds that may suffice.

We are free to seek and think
              free to grasp each loving ideal
              free to treasure each fancy
              free to let go and let live and new day.

R.I.P to the firsts of yesterday's dreams
to the daydreaming and hoping.
R.I.P to the first ones.
To one that may never be~



11.9.13

Passing Fancies~

But what does a passing fancy mean? 

Is it when you hold your palms tight and your fists close just to rattle yourself with that uncannyfeeling?

Or is it during those sleepless nights when you force yourself to sleep yet you find yourself hooked in the enchanted tales of ideal romances? 

What does the four letter hold?

A promise of a great tomorrow?
Or a minute of certainty and uncertainty?

What does it mean to feel?

What does it mean to seek?
What does it mean to wait?

To wait for the crows to linger, the clouds to pass by, the door to unlock and the mind to open.

1,2,3 step. Fast.
This journey continues.

.envelopedthoughts.
7.8.13

In Memory~

As I woke up I found you gone

With shattered pieces of my heart left on the floor

Torn and abandoned I lay weary

Caressing every single moment of the life I had with you

I was left crushed in pieces

I reckon I can never make whole again

You left within a jolt of intangible lies

In a web of queries and anxieties

And as I lie on that cold hard marble

Reality struck that I may never see you again

That gentle smile that beams to and fro

And that flick of hair that rattles my soul

I held my palms and remembered how you held it

And in my heart I know I've found you

But in that winter night I know

I lost a soul I have bore my life to

I dont wanna say farewell

Coz I know you were the one

I dont wanna say good bye

Coz im waiting one last hi

-Dee. 11.12am. 6.4.13

#totalrandomness I have no idea where this came from. Totallyyyyy

Unknown: Isang Lumang Kasulatan

Ayun. Sapul. Nahulog ang bola sa basket. Panalo sila.

Sa bawat pagpasa at bawat pagshoot ng bola,

May isang tinamaan, malakas ang tibok ng puso at panalo rin ang dating.

Pagnakashoot, ayun, sa paghulog ng bola, buong puso nya hulog rin.

She's falling for him, rumor sa school. Bakit daw?

Aba ewan. Isang palaisipan umano.

Siya ang pinakamagaling, at pinakamatalino, nakarating na sa ibang bansa dahil sa contests na sinalihan,

pero ang mainlove sa isang basketbolista? Nakapagtataka.

Matapos ang game, nagsilapit ang mga fans ni lalake.

Naghiyawan…

Di lumapit si babae, halatang may gusto siya, pero ayaw niyang aminin…

                Pagtatago.

Hanggang isang araw, nakita siyang luhaan at mistulang wala sa sarili…

                Nawala ang lahat sa kanya.

Walang makakaayos, kundi ang bolang maty autograph ni lalaki.

Pinilit ng kaibigang makuha ito, ngunit huli na ang lahat.

                Nagbigti si babae.

                .END OF STORY.

Telling Him I Love You.

Love is that unforgettable dream; it s a fairytale like no other.It s the coming of age of a person s emotion because she knows she has felt the greatest emotion in the world. It s that one special feeling that never could you deny nor keep from people around you. Love, it s an equation of you plus me.

They say when you love, it s the time when you feel like falling, it's like putting in mind that there s no turning back. It means no holding back of emotion, falling and letting it all go. But there is one time when you feel like hesitating, keeping your emotions and hiding from him from a distant. You feel like screaming and you ask yourself, Must I show it? Must I tell him? Then you find it in your heart to tell him, until you finally discovered that it s too late, too late to tell him.

Love is like a fairytale come true, when you tell him you love him and he answers, "I love you too." It' s having the feeling of delight and contentment because being with him means the world to you. It s like having that floating on air feeling because you know you ve told him the truth about your emotions. It s like feeling guaranteed that all will be well, because it will always be you and me .

On the other hand, love is an unforgettable dream, it s the memory that will always linger, and will be forever reminisced, from the day you met him till the day you ve finally decided to tell him. But what if you choose not to norture that intense feeling because you hesitated; you deprived yourself of loving and being loved back. You choose to keep it to yourself and yourself alone, though all the world shouts you have fallen. You ll feel the agony, the regret and you shall feel the world crumbling down before your very feet. It ll seem like the end of everything. And still, it is an unforgettable dream, where you d hope once again to find the love you ve been wishing for all your life.

Love is the greatest emotion in the world, it really doesn t matter if you told him you loved him or if you kept it to yourself and neither is it about having felt his care or having a heartache, it s like the famous quotation about love,"It s better to love and be hurt than to never to have loved at all." It's the idea of learning and having felt love even if it hurts you dearly than never being in love at all.

It's that feeling of contentment, loving, and not wanting anything in return..

I LOVE YOU, 3 simple words that'll mean the world to you.

I remembred CTCL with this composition.. I guess TRUE LOVE WAITS.. :)

This scene was such a heartbreaking moment. :(

 And it was Nam all along.. :)

Tell her/him I Love You.. :)

21.1.11

Comm. Skills 2

~nothing personal here, just didn't got any topic to write on about.. this was written like more than a year ago.. found it when I was looking through some random stuff on a bunch of notebooks I have. :)