Hope

Tarry a little while
These four cornered walls
They seem to sophocate
Slowly, its like an echoing silence

Drowning you into an infinite mess
Of chaos and distraction
You keep your eye on the price
And your head focused

But it lingers
Grasping your skin till it hurts
Till it hurts,
And till you wake

This is not a dream
And that's when it sinks in deep
This is not a dream
Its reality waiting to uncover

This is not a dream
And I wish it was
This is not a dream
How can this be real?

This is not a dream
How I wish fairytales were real
This is not a dream
But I still strongly hope

That one day soon
I'll wake up
Tears turn to dust
Clinging on to hope

That one day, the present would only be just a dream.


 9:58AM
122116

broken strings

And you keep playing music, chilling Disregarding life and all its chaos Keep strumming, humming that tune You kept singing that verse you dont even know is right Play it continously Go on, go on. Till we finally realize Everything has its own depreciation level. And slowly, Slowly The strings get broken Like a ticking time bomb As it gets used. It draws near the deadline. Getting through smoothly... Or finally saying goodbye. These broken strings, Its tired. Tired as heck, They're praying to get changed. Or at least get some new friends. Its shouting a big SOS. Help. These broken strings... Saying goodbye... Just a little sooner and ever.. 1.49AM 113016

Until when?

Smiles. Greatest weapon. Greatest self destruct grievance. Best way to say you're fine and happy When in fact you're near the verge of slowly giving up. If any person would ever be in my place? I'd say they would have given up. Long time ago. But to say this, Its like boasting. Many have long stayed. How long should I stay? How long can I stay? How long will I bear. How long will I try. How long will I crawl. How long will I pretend. Lord.. give me a reason to stay. give me a helping hand to believe things are possible. Lord, strengthen me more each day. Help me believe that anything is possible. Oh Lord... to feel free. Is the most valuable treasure. To savor the wind in my hair To feel the sand in the seas.. Oh Lord, just one break. Just one quick one. I dont wanna be drowned in this misery. Its slowly swallowing me whole. Its eating me like a kid eats cake. Slowly, savoring me, piece by piece And it aches, it aches a little A little then a lot. Then it hastens, but then it lingers. Going steady then fast. Oh dear, save me Its deep within me.. Until when will this end. Until when. Until when. Until when... 113016 1:31AM :/

Dentista.

Funny how I started this page as a student A student with high hopes and dreams. A student with a passion to share her thoughts through bits of fragmented words and phrases. Its been years, and finallu I pushed through. It was a long journey, But it was all worth the wait. 8 months has passed since my first day at work Its been draining yet fulfilling. Nothing much has changed. Although I have less time to write..... And less time to explore the world and all its wonders Nevertheless I wanna prepare myself for the good life Its gonna be one heck of a ride and im gonna enjoy it :) Cheers for now! x 12:59pm March 14, 2016

Pen & Paper 📒✒

But what does writing really mean to you? Is it just a passing fancy, A past time, a hobby. Something you do when idle, or coerced by authority. But what does writing really mean to you? Is it a passion that rages within you, A phrase you cant contain. A longing for a pen and paper, endless scribbling that can go on forever. But what does writing really mean to you? Is it a path to take, A risk you'd make. Or a calling slowly dying, Amidst reality sinking deep within. Writing does not envy, It does not boast. Writing does not compete. Its something that keeps waiting until realized. Its that which flows deep in your veins Through every organ and system in your body. Its that which experiences real emotions Real people, real stories. Writing is freedom. For thoughts that are caged, Words unspoken, And ideas that just never seem to happen. And to me, writing is not giving up. On something so dear. Its holding close a gift so precious. And still bit by bit, hoping for a dream to be realized. 12:41pm 031416

holding on

The past 3 days have been topsy turvy, it seemed like the rollercoaster ride we have been for the past six years is finally going to a pit stop, a halt. Funny thing is, we got stuck on the high part, its like were hanging on to the safety rails with our seatbelts on, staring down the world below us. We scream our hearts out, our fears and uncertainties, were afraid of falling or failing. But we hold to what‘s dear to us. We strongly believe that in just a few moments the ride of our lives will start moving once more. Never left out nor abandoned. Im still hanging on the rails at the moment. Still feeling the wind on my hair, the beauty of His creation... and as I grasp thy infinite hope, yesteryears flash back. Looking back to the moments of tears and joy, 6 years has gone by so swiftly. And now, as I hold on to the rails and see the world below, I stare blankly into space, into heaven. Coz I know the past 6 years have been fruitful. Coz He had made all things possible. And as I hang on today, I shall keep on believing on His promise. That He is with me on this journey. And never shall I fear once more, nor will I ever question what‘s to happen. Cause He had made all things possible, that tomorrow may actually be great cause He is in control. You know what‘s crazy? Its that without knowing, the stop on the high slopes is actually the best part, its when your heart beats fast, your blood creeps up and down and you remember you‘re actually alive coz these things never happen always, the tremble you feel and the nervousness its the most real you‘ll ever feel. So what‘s left to know? Its to believe in His promise, that ‘it is done and so we shall not fear.‘ To let go and let loose, for the next part of the ride is the greatest, the fastest ride we can ever have towards the finish line is soon to happen. I was doing something a while ago and a sudden thought of writing came to me. later on i heard this phrase being whispered to me, “how are you my child? stand tall and believe for i have made the impossible happen.“ I dont actually know if its just my conscious mind saying this but, i strongly believe the Lord God is saying something. So how are you my dear friend? lets keep the faith for this roller coaster ride will totally be awesome coz He is in charge, keep the faith, were landing soon and yes, it is done!!! 8.57pm. 050815

Masks and Fronts~

Droplets of rain fall just as my heart ponders
On thoughts i'd rather not think about
Moments linger, emotions flourish
I lay awake just to see what happens next

Actions are louder than the thoughts that dwell inside our cages
What the brain conceives physical nature brings out
Arrows streak on a bull's eye
Blood flow through existing veins

Masks and fronts
Smiles and leaving.
Loneliness surfaces
and to writing...

Dwell on written words that dont cut as blade
When the heart feels lacerated and handicapped
The world seem suffocating
And fake.

Facades and rumors
Whispers and stabs
Like pinned needles they sting
Cause the mind never forgets

But you'll always be fine
Cause moments pass
We move on.
We pretend.

Treasures and friends.
True or False.
I don't even know what's real
Nor where I stand

Crossroads and goodbyes
Junctions and dilemmas
You ask where to go
And in signs you look

Mind's confused, hear wonders
How does one think logically?
How does one surpass such?
Too many questions raised

So little time to discover,
one self and decisions
dispositions and beliefs
I can not answer a single one.


but one day perhaps.

inglorious windings~

A bump on the head,
a scratch on the skin,
enough to slap awaken reality
bursting up the bubble of infinite better days~

You find yourself rattled once more
Drowning in a finite mess of things
Of inglorious windings
and constant rages of hope.

Drops of rain fall amidst the summer sky
Just as the clouds battle against the wind
And it never stops for hours
Just to settle in mind who flourishes in the end.

And I wont give in to all
I wait for clear blue skies
For a great summer
For unrelenting thoughts

Tomorrow will be better.
I contest to the misery unfathomable
When you do most you can
And achieve none to presume.

I have once drowned in the immeasurable abyss
I have survived and frolicked,
But when all else fails
Push. Pray until something happens.

This warrior is never over getting battle scars.
When the enemy refuses to see your efforts.
Never think ill.
Instead hope for peace of mind.

Fast, until perhaps one day
It realizes your worth something.
I contest to believe in the negative.
I may still be living in my own bubble.

But I'll always know,
Hope is better than nothing.
Just..
Lord God, I know You're there for me, for us.


03.24.14

Dreams & Detours~

Truth is, I wasn't just given a dream.
I developed it myself.


Or maybe I wasn't.


I grew up learning each day that I opt to be "something"I have always knew I wanted to be.
While others contemplate and rationalize things I have always been stuck with one choice.
In high school, when others would weigh what they're good at and compare it with their would-be-courses I stay in my own lil' corner and aspire.
Coz I have always known what I wanted to be.

I was inspired to be what I wanted to be.
I was dazzled in amazement by the complexities of human teeth.
My high school batchmates could attest to that.
I have always opted to choose where I am today.

To realize that I am now a few steps closer to that dream is an achievement.
To know that 5 years will soon come to end,
To strive & let live all the tension, stress and acads explosions,
To believe that in a few months time, I shall graduate.

But what's next?


I wasn't given a dream.
I am striving to achieve it.
I wasn't given an illusion.
I plan to build my own future.


Coz when you build your own dream you realize,
that you deserve to have your own future.
And as the thought of how tough those years have been,
you refuse to stay blinded.


Tomorrow is a long way ahead.
I dont know what lies in the path that awaits,
but I am positive, a detour shall soon rise.
The road is under construction..


but let the good times roll.
Drive into the future. It shall seem great.


030914

Growing up.

I dont know, I just dont feel fine.
And I just want comfort and someone who can listen.
I just wanna explode and let it all flow.
I just wanna say things, coz it feels that I dont have the right anymore.

When people try to decide for yourself, you lose your voice.
You tend to realize that everything in your future is no longer yours.
That everything that's true now is no longer real.
And all your plans suddenly flourish in one blink.

You smile in pretension and feel so bipolar.
And when the world seem to crumble,
You pray that someone will notice.
Coz your strong, and no one should know.

But you arent. You're a ticking time bomb.
And all it takes is a call from your mom.
When even her voice wont seem to comfort you.
You miss your homeland and your friends.

You miss the times when everything depends on you.
When you wont think about what to do tomorrow or the summer break.
You realize you cant do anything about it.
Coz your chained, no matter what it seems right.

Why cant it be bad.
Why does it feel so sad.
That even flyin' else where is a dilemma.
It just freakin hurts.

I wanna feel numb.
I wanna break free.
I wanna seek for things i want.
Not what others want.

I just..
I feel burdened.
And when your expectations fail you.
Dream a better dream.

Coz maybe just maybe, tomorrow your dream will be yours, truly.




030914.
:')