Thoughts relinquished ~

Well this is just a random rumbling of the human mind...

Its just a normal day, a usual evening with some moments to spare and thoughts to relinquish.

I cannot ever reckon what is up,
what this roller coaster ride is falling to.
Where the bridge may lead,
nor where the sun may shine.

I cannot tend to things I know none about,
Nor foresee the shadows of tomorrow or the future.
I cannot lie awake and daydream
To assure myself of a promise.


Blood runs the stream
flowing like explosions soon rise
Heart beats fast
like drums echoing in a drum roll

Head lingers to crazed fathoms
like seeing your life before your very eyes
Words get lost in a sea of tides
like learning a new language first hand


I do not know what is up
What boggles the mind
rattles the soul
and stutters with words


I have no answer yet to release.
Maybe tomorrow i'll know.
And I'll continue to hope
Just as the mind may please.


7.04.pm.2.4.14

Frantic Horror~

You realize you were hanging on but a single thread, dangling down the brink of a cliff as the sunlight slowly haunts you with a promise of hope & tomorrow that never to seem come.


Then the phoenix rises & sees his prey, he grabs on it as quickly as the birds soar on migration day.


That was it. The last beam of glee and a promise of a future to await.


And scorn by misery & regress the culprit being stays inept to being her own kind.

The vast lands matter not a little, cause all the majority fills it with terror and frantic horror.

That was her last ticket for a glimpse of a new beginning.

Of better days and of light shining at the end of the tunnel
The damsel's last cry as she wakes to see the rainbow after the rain.
It was that stream of fresh warmth on a long winter night.

It was what the moment gave and she chose to bit.


Now everything in the world has chosen to fall apart.
Crumbling in every aspect of uncertainty
Of the weary mind that choose to stay awake.
In the wee hours of the morning, she decides to take the nearest exit.




010614
LRT ride~

World Says~

What I am about to reveal now is but a ruled out miscalculation of the wonders of the world and the complications & complexity of human beings.

He says, she says, you're a pretty little miss.

He says, she says, you're a smart wise kid.

He says, she says, you're a talented beast.

He says, she says, you have the skill and the wit.

He says, she says you have the will to make it big.

He says, she says you have the power of dreaming.

He says, she says you have the guts in aiming.

He says, she says you have the ability to be king.

You say, just as always, you're not beautiful

You say, just as always, you're not able

You say, just as always, you're not capable,

You say just as always, you're but average

You tell them otherwise,

Thou all the world connive

To keep that dream alive

It'll always be you who puts out the knife.

He says, she says, you're a winner.

You say, just as always, im a wiener

He says, she says, you can make it.

You say, just as always "I can't do it."

He says, she says, I believe in you.

You say, just as always, I'm not confident.

He says, she says, "That dream is yours."

You say, just as always, it's implausible.

When all the world chose to instill the best in you

You chose to be humble and let down a sigh.

When the entire crowd decided you're special

You decided it’s a lie and you're nothing.

When the entire world wanted to hone you

You wanted to rebel against & propel

When the universe started to realize you're amazing

You started to come against the flow

Why is it always a battle between self and others?

Why is it a challenge to realize self worth?

Why is it hard to accept what's foreseen?

Why is it that humans choose to let themselves down than believe in their selves and others perception?

Why are we born to deny ourselves of the idea of being good at something?

Why are we given the conscience and the capacity to weigh things?

Why are we so rude to ourselves than to others?

Why are we as intellectual beings chose to degrade our very own selves?

I have no anwers.

All I have are queries.

And this to my delight is what puzzled me on the evening of January 6^th, 2014.

.envelopedthoughts.

(unedited coz i feel lazy)

Cosmic Ideas~

I will never understand how this vast universe negotiates with the humans and the workers of the land.
With some pile of trash, some junk and cans i can never reckon how things come to one.
Nor how things may drift or float or disrupt.
As they stay afloat in its humble abode as i watch it slowly wither its way thru.


When things come together and the galaxies conspire
The aliens and the extraterrestrials humbly connive
To solely delve deep and swim thru the ocean of thoughts and yesteryears
To come to a halt and put an end in the questions of tomorrow and hereafter

And as the milky way recognizes its planets and souls
A little pluto is demoted, erased from infinite fame
And just like that humans discover and rediscover
And realize what is real and what is not.



.envelopedthought.
12.19.13

If only, coz I miss you.

Well I am feeling all sorts of things at the moment.
But to be honest, Im writing coz I miss you.



I miss you and your smile.
I miss you and your jokes.
I miss you and your antics.
I miss you and I.


I miss your texts.
Your tweets and your vents.
I miss us being one and the same.
I miss us being stuck with each other,


I miss us staying late at night.
I miss us comforting each other.
I miss us being each others boyfriends.
I miss us, I miss us.


I miss you and your wit.
I miss you and your depth.
I miss you and your words.
I miss you and the compliments.


I miss you being here.
I miss you and your presence.
I miss you and your eyes.
I miss you and I miss you true.


I miss you.
I wanna talk again.
I wanna sing again.
I wanna smile with you again.


If only I could mend all that's crazy wild in the world.
If only I could recover all the piece that have been broken.
If only I could get a time machine and relive each day.
If only I could give the world just to alleviate all that's hurting.

If only I could turn those tears to dust.
If only I could turn that confusion to magic.
If only I could produce a breed of those creatures.
If only I could nurse you and comfort you.


I would..
I would sail through the deep just to hold you.
I would cross the ocean just to see that smile again.
I would delve down that deep abyss just to reach you.



If only I could.
If only.
Coz I would..
And so I miss you..



I dont know how,
I dont know where.
I dont know how things will be greater.
I dont know.


But I hope it all turns around and so I can see that smile again.




12.05.13

Young and Naive~

In flashbacks and glances
In sickness or in silence
In a mere blink of an eye
You've gotten me high

Through thick and thin
In hiding and lying.
In foolish escapes
Of smiles and waves

It was young and naive~
crazed and unimagined,
it was totally wrecking yet worth it,
that no one else may seem to beat.

It was uncalled for
And everyone seemed to want more.
It was fast paced and untangible
It was intoxicating and worth the fall~

It was all fake and never real.

It was child's play up the hill, 

To a neverland of no beginnings,

senseless with no happy endings.

It was never felt

Nor did I ever dealt

It was a game

And I felt lame

It was never decent

And you're left bent

Entangled by the past

With memories that seemed to last

Trapped in a sea of nothingness
In a space full of emptiness
In a world of empty solace
Of the grief and cunning faces

And would I ever forbid
To long just to bid
A good bye to what has been
And hello to what may beam.


So alas.... idk what. But.



1.09am.11.25.13

R.I.P First Ones~

So this is a post about me ranting how i deleted something i wrote with all conviction and might, not to mention my eyes that were a bit puffy and watery whilst I was typing words.

Idk. No matter how hard I try to delve deeper I can no longer find the right words to render what I've deleted "alive".

It is dead. And its rather wrong to try to revive something that's of the past.

Maybe that's what  it's all about really.

To forget the past,
let go of all that's holding you back,
forgive and live,
then take a step and move forward.

It's time to let go of what's not to be.
It's time to bid farewell of the land of what if's
Time to permit one's self to live for the future
To "what could be's"and realize what's in store.

The past is always a great place to come back to,
never to dwell in nor be imprisoned in.
Its this sacred sanctuary of holding thoughts so dear,
but never jailed by the emotions that settled in.

Its always great to live passed one moment in life.
To know you have surpassed something so enduring.
Its great to look back and laugh at such memories.
But then again, 1,2,3 seconds that may suffice.

We are free to seek and think
              free to grasp each loving ideal
              free to treasure each fancy
              free to let go and let live and new day.

R.I.P to the firsts of yesterday's dreams
to the daydreaming and hoping.
R.I.P to the first ones.
To one that may never be~



11.9.13

The end game.

Shed tears never turn to dust.
It builds dreams and make them come true.
Sweat and finite hours of exhaustion,
may sound dreary but adds up to success.

To the number of times you've forgotten to eat,
to the tiresome moments of climbing up and down the stairs,
to the endless lines and stressful procedures,
and the number of times you've been bankrupted...

The first end has bid us hello.
And I know for fact, we have done well.
Uncertainty may always haunt us,
thou I know, this semester He has never failed me.

I set sail to an ocean of wide opportunities.
 Never knowing what may lie ahead.
I set my mind on a course
I never thought would be treacherous

But now the first has ended.
I have not finished the race,
Thou there'll always be a promise of tomorrow.
Of completion and a new beginning.

I have tried  my best,
and with all my luck tried to reach the end.
I have failed, thou not entirely.
Beckoning the age of better days, I stand unrattled.

I am waiting for tomorrow.
For a chance to prove myself.
Not just of the world, but to Him and myself.
That I can conquer this battle.

For this warrior never stops
Until the fight is over.
Those shed tears and endless rants will be my weapon.
Coz tomorrow, I WILL FINISH.


19.40. 10.10.13

Knackered & Jaded~

When words cannot strongly suffice the heart's longing,
the emotion sets in & the being lays knackered.

With questions made to and fro,
unimaginable consequences overpower.
It is right to take grasp,
To answer & catch every bit of certainty in the universe.

But what again is it that bedazzles this creature?
A word she would not utter not try to speak of.
A fantasy she dreams of cutting off,
Yet in reality, she longs of a fairytale.

Why would she in a million years run away?
Because she fears extinction.
Not of her race but for her well being.
For that something she has always caged within.

She refuses to enter the portals
For when she takes a step
She'd take a leap of faith
& drown in a pool of mess

She stays unamused yet enthralled
By the idea of knowing what "it" may seem to be
She remains in her corner, hoping.
That one day perhaps...

all her convictions will turn to ash forgotten for life & changed to something worthwhile.


18.27. 10.10.13.

....

I dont know what lies ahead. But I seek to opt to know that things will go well.

Swell. As I just feel like falling flat on the concrete mountains of the jungle of the civilized world. I lie awake just to face the gloomy disposition of facing a reality that's there to haunt me for the rest of my well being.

I stand just to realize the truth of being in a certain circumstance of disbelief and not knowing.

And in this vast universe of connection dots and situations I stare into the ceiling blankly as the thoughts revolve around my own solar system. Rattled and amused I solemnly pray for that silver lining, for a breath of fresh hope and a bight ray of sunshine.

In layman's term, I am confused and uncertain of what the world may fuse to be. If   I the student shall find the right one or if I the student shall be forever one that waits till the crows turn white as cold as the snow that never falls in the PH.

I seek to know.
Thou I cant stand the heartbreak of waiting for unfavourable ideas.


10.7.13 12.44AM